Are There Options to Nursing Homes?

Many people end up in nursing homes for their final years. But there are alternatives. With proper support and community involvement, it is increasingly likely that an individual in need of nursing home-type assistance can receive such attention while remaining in his or her home. Unfortunately, a person on Medicaid, under current law, will find it very difficult to accomplish that. However, if an individual has obtained long term care insurance which provides sufficient benefits, the policy can provide funds for nursing care and other care such as food preparation to allow the person to remain at home (also known as “aging in place”).

Easing the Stress of a Senior Move

Moving to smaller quarters after the children move out or retirement kicks in can be stressful and a pain…so many memories and deciding what you can’t take with you.

You can stage a garage sale and endure the hassle if you enjoy bargaining over the value of your personal property collected over many years.

For most, though, using a professional is a better idea and an auction house might generate more money.

For local on-site “tag sales” (estate sales), consider “Caring Transitions” (410-951-4111). For auctions off-site, I’ve used Caplan’s Auction Co. in Savage (410-750-7678) and Associated Auctioneers in West Friendship (fairgrounds) (410-489-7200).

Good luck and think positively! No more snow shoveling to do.

Death Brings Myriad Emotions

When a loved one dies, particularly if it’s a spouse, the survivor is often overwhelmed by a variety of emotions. Here is a list of what might be encountered:

Shock: The survivor may be stunned by the turn of events, even after a lengthy illness.

Disorientation: Some may experience confusion and have trouble focusing.

Denial: The loss might seem like a bad dream. The survivor may withdraw from daily activities or experience a flurry of activity and return to work and hobbies shortly after the death.

Anxiety: Extreme worry about the future may lead to paralysis of thought or action.

Guilt: Wishing one had done things differently, or been there more, even if he or she was caring and concerned at the time of illness.

Depression: Lingering sadness or a melancholy that comes and goes even years later.

Vulnerability: Others may seem to be out to fool the surviving spouse—and that may have a measure of truth in it. It is wise to proceed into new areas of interest with caution.

Loneliness: Despair at returning to an empty house, especially at night. This emotion may prompt some to latch onto other people just because they are available.

These feelings usually pass with time. But, it might be several months or much longer depending on the individual. For most, there will come a time when the survivor is able to accept what has happened and resume “normal” activities, although certainly never forgetting. Despite what some well-meaning friends might say, life will never be the same.

The progression of grief is necessary to recognize because until these unavoidable emotions have dissipated, the survivor is not in a proper frame of mind to make long-term decisions whether it be about legal, financial matters or family.

Need for Caution in a Hospital

All of us at one time or another are likely to be hospitalized. Understandably, we expect to be taken care of and for medical personnel to do their jobs in a competent and professional manner. Unfortunately, with shocking frequency, that is often not the case.

According to Consumer Reports, more than 400,000 people a year die in American hospitals due to staff mistakes.

The best protection you can have against some of these mistakes is to have a family member or a close friend visit you frequently while you are hospitalized and do his or her best to monitor the care and attention received.

That person -- and you, if you’re able -- should verify that you are receiving appropriate medication, are protected against falling out of bed if that is a risk, and that medical personnel are faithful in following sanitary practices. For instance, does a doctor or nurse use an antibiotic lotion before touching you? (One usually doesn’t focus on this obvious fact: Hospitals are full of germs that may cause infections.) 

Spotting Signs of Alzheimer’s Disease

There is a common misperception that memory loss is a reliable forecast of the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. That is not true.

To be sure, loss of memory is one of the symptoms of Alzheimer’s. However, simply being forgetful as one ages does not automatically mean one has Alzheimer’s. All of us are forgetful at times. The fact that one forgets the name of an old boyfriend or what he or she had for dinner last Saturday is not significant.

Memory loss that matters is of the sort that affects one’s ability to function in daily life -- as in forgetting where one lives. (A failure to recall where one left the car keys does not qualify.)

And, do note that Alzheimer’s often includes the person displaying confusion, agitation and mood, and personality changes.

Does Attitude Affect the Onset of Alzheimer’s?

Recent research suggests that people who are optimistic and feel a purpose in living are able to ward off Alzheimer’s symptoms better than those who do not share such attitudes.

Surprisingly, a of people whose brains show the presence of Alzheimer’s disease never exhibited memory loss or intellectual impairment. Of course, these findings may simply be coincidental but, certainly, having a purpose in life gives life meaning, and certainly leads to a higher degree of happiness as opposed to others who are not upbeat.

There is certainly no downside to trying to make one’s life more meaningful.

Make A List of “Need To Know” Information for Your Loved Ones

When the time comes, alas, as it does for all of us, to leave this earth for our eternal reward, the ones left behind often don’t have a clue as to what to do next. Don’t put your family in that bind.

Compile a binder or make a list of where your assets are with account numbers and addresses, including bank and brokerage accounts. Provide information on your life insurance. Indicate whether you have a safe deposit box and where the key is located. Make note of any special assets such as coin and stamp collections, and the like, which may be hidden somewhere in your house. List names, addresses, and contact information for your lawyer, accountant or financial planner.

In other words, don’t leave your loved ones in the dark. Don’t compound the grief your loved ones will feel by leaving them in a quandary about what to do.