Death Brings Myriad Emotions

When a loved one dies, particularly if it’s a spouse, the survivor is often overwhelmed by a variety of emotions. Here is a list of what might be encountered:

Shock: The survivor may be stunned by the turn of events, even after a lengthy illness.

Disorientation: Some may experience confusion and have trouble focusing.

Denial: The loss might seem like a bad dream. The survivor may withdraw from daily activities or experience a flurry of activity and return to work and hobbies shortly after the death.

Anxiety: Extreme worry about the future may lead to paralysis of thought or action.

Guilt: Wishing one had done things differently, or been there more, even if he or she was caring and concerned at the time of illness.

Depression: Lingering sadness or a melancholy that comes and goes even years later.

Vulnerability: Others may seem to be out to fool the surviving spouse—and that may have a measure of truth in it. It is wise to proceed into new areas of interest with caution.

Loneliness: Despair at returning to an empty house, especially at night. This emotion may prompt some to latch onto other people just because they are available.

These feelings usually pass with time. But, it might be several months or much longer depending on the individual. For most, there will come a time when the survivor is able to accept what has happened and resume “normal” activities, although certainly never forgetting. Despite what some well-meaning friends might say, life will never be the same.

The progression of grief is necessary to recognize because until these unavoidable emotions have dissipated, the survivor is not in a proper frame of mind to make long-term decisions whether it be about legal, financial matters or family.